#5 – LAUGH
Katie and I spend quite a bit of time laughing together – even in the midst of arguments we will find ourselves laughing, often at how absurd our anger is. We laugh together because we enjoy life together. When we laugh together there’s something that happens within; I’m just not quite sure what it is. Laughter gives us the time to pause and realize how much we delight in the other, I suppose. It reminds us that even in the midst of a heated argument we are not too serious, we are not perfect, and we are likely overreacting to a perceived slight.
While there’s been plenty of ups & downs, and lots of negative that we could focus on, we’re still able to stop and simply enjoy life together.
Laugh with people. Lighten up! Smile and see what happens.
#6 – Some things you just can’t change
I was raised that being on time for something meant that you were there at least 15 minutes early. Katie seems to think that as long as she’s there 15 minutes after we were supposed to be then she’s on time. Seriously – she was 30 minutes late for our own wedding! Compromise is key to any relationship, but this is one area that I don’t enjoy compromising. Often when we’re late I get angry. It’s my natural response after nearly 30 years of just simply being on time (anger, sadly, is my natural response for a lot of things). However, once we’re already late, what’s the point of getting angry? I can’t change it – it’s already done. Yet it’s my natural response.
There’s so much in life that we can’t change, as much as we might like to. Yet so many of us respond with anger after the fact, while it serves neither a practical nor helpful purpose. Some things you just can’t change, and finding a response that is helpful is the key. For example, when we’re late now I try telling myself, “this gives me more time with her!” Sure, that response hasn’t helped my anger yet, but I’m working on it.
Life will always have a habit of working out differently than we had planned, and people will always have a habit of doing things differently than we want. Anger & frustration may be natural responses, but we can work on changing that. We can work on finding the good & positive in most situations until that becomes our natural response. And maybe, just maybe – Lord, please may it be so – we might just make it somewhere on time at least once! :)