My circumstances will not determine my joy

On January 9, 2015, I got the call I had been expecting (and dreading). 

I had been a youth pastor for eight years. All in all, they were pretty uneventful. Heck, I only had 1 trip to the ER with a kid in those eight years. That’s pretty dang good for youth ministry.

But when I picked up the phone that day I knew that for ‘my kids,’ life would never be the same. I knew because when I was their age I had gone through similar feelings of loss & grief. I was about to tell them that their young friend Camryn had passed away from cancer.

When I went through the doors of Bible college the first day I never would have imagined giving a homily at the funeral of a 14-year-old girl. But 10 years later there I stood, seeking to convey truth and comfort to hundreds of mourners, including so many of her young friends. In fact, I chose to use my homily (one of two at the service) to speak directly to the young people. I spoke on Camryn’s joy, and her favourite verse in the following short sermon:

I watched first hand as Camryn faced her illness with grace and confidence. Four months before she passed away Camryn expressed to me her frustration that cancer had become the topic of conversation with her for so many of us; people wanting to show care and concern would ask how she’s feeling or treat her differently.

“Cancer’s not who I am!” she said to me.

“You want to just be treated like a normal teenager?” I asked.

“YESSSSSS!” she replied.

But it seems to me that Camryn was anything but normal. Camryn was  perhaps the strongest person I have had the pleasure of meeting.

No person, let alone teenager, should have to go through what Camryn went through; yet she did, and she did so, again, with a grace and confidence that is hard to put into words. When many of us might give up, and retreat with self-pity, Camryn stood up, and carried on, going to school, dance, camp, and youth group as much as she could.

No doubt, the support and encouragement of her family and her friends gave her strength in times where it all may have felt like too much.

But, I think the majority of that strength came from a very special place for Camryn.

It came from her faith in Christ, and the confidence and assurance she had thanks to that faith.

When you look at and listen to the words of Cam’s favourite verses you see that she didn’t simply like the words in these verses; she believed them, and she lived her life accordingly.

Philippians 4:13, her favourite verse of all, says, “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”

The Apostle Paul wrote those words while sitting in a prison cell. One of his churches wanted to know what they could do for him; but Paul responds, “I have learned to not let my circumstances determine my joy; I have learned to be content with whatever I have … for I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”

The circumstances of Camryn’s illness did not determine her joy.

She was content and lived her life to the best that she could. She relied on her faith, and she did more than most people I know could.

For those of us who are left to grieve, we can face times like this with some uncertainty. And we face times like this certainly with grief. And perhaps even some guilt.

Let me assure you, especially her young friends, you made a difference in her life. Your friendship, your jokes, your games … your Instagram likes: they made a difference to Camryn.

I want you young people to remember that for Camryn, that was the greatest gift you could have ever given her, and I pray that each of you will find the same strength, grace, joy, and assurance that Cam had in the coming days and months ahead.

Her faith in Christ gave her the joy and strength to carry on, and the friendship of so many of you gave her the experience of just being a normal teen, that she wanted so badly to have.

…

It’s a good reminder today, the anniversary of Camryn’s passing, to not let life’s circumstances determine my joy. Instead, in all things, to take assurance in my faith in Christ, and be content with whatever I have (and I have a lot). And to remember that no matter my circumstances, I can face them all through Christ who gives me (and you) strength.